Michael J. Oliver, My Best Friend

Some might say that it is unusual for a guy to have a best friend. I am not sure if that is true or not, but in any event, I am a guy, and I have a best friend: Michael J. Oliver, or Mike for short. Let me tell you a little bit about this man whom I am grateful to be able to call my best friend….

Mike and I met in the summer of 2001 in San Diego, CA. He was an undergraduate at Rutgers University, while I was an undergrad at West Chester University. We were two of nearly 100 college students who had committed to spending eight weeks of our summer in San Diego, participating in what was called “a summer project,” which was a fancy way of saying that we worked part-time and engaged in Christian ministry activities the rest of the time.

In any event, Mike and I met that summer, and we hit it off from the get-go. Though our lives have taken many twists and turns over the past twenty or so years, one thing that was clear from the outset was that Mike was a man of passion. He loved to think, he loved to dig in to difficult texts and topics, and he wanted to wrestle with the material until it yielded solid and ripe fruit. What was true then is true now, and though it is no surprise that Mike earned a doctorate of philosophy, I can honestly say that there are many in academia who do not love learning, and the pursuit of wisdom, 1/10th as much as Mike does, and so it is only fitting that Drew University bestowed a PhD upon him, and that Oxford University employed him for three years.

Much more so than his academic and intellectual prowess, though, what I admire most about Mike is his character – he is a person who strives to be a man of integrity, and who wrestles with theological, psychological, and interpersonal realities to a degree that most people would never even dream of. And Mike is one of those people who does not go looking for answers to confirm what he already believes he knows; rather, he is someone who explores with an open mind and with a desire to understand. That is rare – and special.

Another thing that is very poignant about Mike is his story – the journey that he has been on for these past forty-one years. Of course, the details are personal and are Mike’s to share or withhold. One thing is for sure, though: Mike was not born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth; rather, he has weathered, and passed through, some excruciatingly difficult life experiences, and, like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption, he is in the process of coming out clean on the other side. In this regard, Mike, you are an inspiration to me.

Mike and I have maintained an ongoing, uninterrupted bond of friendship ever since the summer of 2001. While such longevity is hardly unheard of, it is somewhat uncommon, particularly in our busy world and with our (often overly) busy lives. The friendship has changed shape a number of times over the years, but the bottom line is that we love each other, and that we prioritize staying in regular communication with each other. I am very grateful for this, and know that Mike is as well.

Mike, there is much more that could be said here, but I want to remind you of how dear you are to me, and how grateful I am that we are in each other’s lives. You’ve taught me so much, you’ve been patient with me and all my foibles and eccentricities, and you’ve modeled courage every step of the way. I am proud to say that you are, without a doubt, my best friend, and I hope that we can remain close for the next twenty years – and beyond.