Beaux H., Trusted Guide and Faithful Friend

Today, my current recovery sponsor, Beaux H., celebrates three years of continuous sobriety, and I would like to take a minute to put into words something about who Beaux is, and who he has become, to me.

I met Beaux on a Zoom AA meeting in the spring of 2020, most meetings being moved to the online format as a result of the then newly discovered COVID situation. I had attended this particular meeting a few times, and I was actively looking for a potential sponsor, as I was shortly to move to the greater Philadelphia area for work, and knew that I wanted to be able to work closely with a recovering peer for the purpose of personal growth and mental and character development.

I have had a number of excellent sponsors over the course of my nearly twenty-two years as a recovering person, and though they have differed widely in age, temperament, and just about everything else, the one thing they all have had in common is this: when they speak, there is something about what they say, and how they say it, that moves and touches me. When I heard Beaux share, I heard such a person speaking, and I found myself drawn toward him. After he shared a second time, I decided to ask him if he would be my sponsor, and he cheerfully agreed. (Asking someone to be your sponsor is a lot like asking someone you like to go out on a date with you, by the way.)

Over the course of the past 18 months or so, Beaux and I have developed a relationship that I would describe as consistent, supportive, insightful, and even paradigm-shifting. Consistent, in that Beaux asked me to call him every day, even if only for a few minutes, to check-in. Though I have never done something like this in all my years of recovery, I accepted this request, and have benefited enormously from the blessing of daily contact with another recovering person who is actively seeking to grow and deepen his recovery. Supportive, in that I have probably never met any person who is more willing to be available when needed for as long as he is needed, but who, at the very same time, is able to maintain personal boundaries and limits without shying away from doing so. Insightful, in that Beaux listens carefully to what I say (both explicitly and between the lines), and then offers measured, considerate feedback in an inimitable way that often strikes me right between the eyes even as my lips are protesting and insisting upon the old, threadbare ideas and interpretations.

Our relationship has also been paradigm-shifting in the sense that, over the course of this year and a half that we have been working together, Beaux’s insistence upon the limits of the thinking mind, indeed, of the “self,” to address and eradicate the obsessive concerns that often plague me, has become increasingly compelling. Although I continue to struggle (at times, I outright resist) to incorporate some of the methods which Beaux is enjoining (e.g., contemplation and inquiry), we have had enough dialogue and I have had enough opportunity to reflect upon my own lived experience to know that he is on to something, and to know that the way out (or, better: through) the knot of self-centered fear and preoccupation is through the body and the senses much more so than through the mind and its endless thoughts and machinations.

Beaux, you are a trusted guide and a faithful friend. You have made my time in Narberth so much richer, so much more connected, than you could ever know. I rely on your support, perspective, guidance, and wisdom on so many occasions, and I expect to continue to do so. I am open to the different, intriguing ideas you are presenting, and pray that I would be open and receptive enough for many of these truths to continue to take root and bear fruit, clearing away some of the old, hackneyed strongholds of thought that keep me back from fullness of life in recovery. I admire you and your commitment to your program of recovery, and I wish you continued growth and continued joy as you trudge the path of happy destiny. I am grateful and privileged to tread that path with you.